How to Find Joy In Hard Times: Lessons From My 50th Birthday
I’m still in shock and awe. I turned 50 a few days ago. A birthday I wasn’t sure I was going to see.
I made a post on Instagram saying,
“The beauty of having everything stripped from you is gaining an intimate understanding of what's truly valuable. And when you get even a sliver of it back you cherish it. Because you understand the value, you'll do whatever it takes to keep it.”
Then I posted a few of my favorite verses:
Psalm 18:19
He brought me out into a spacious place, he rescued me because he delighted in me.
and
Psalm 18:28
You Lord keep my lamp burning my God turns my darkness into light.
I cried on and off all day not because I was sad but from overwhelming joy. Several years ago I was so sick seeing my 50th birthday seemed like a long shot at best.
I've learned so many things on this journey:
Faith
Persistence
Patience
Consistency
Tenacity
Managing my emotions
How to listen to God and to what my body was telling me it needed.
But do you know what one of the biggest things I learned was?
How to be happy even if my circumstances are awful.
Biblically, we’d describe it as Joy.
I've learned to have joy and be ridiculously grateful for the smallest of things.
To cherish every single hug from my family. Because my body used to be in so much pain, they used to have to hold back when they'd hug me but now I've healed enough that they don't have to hold back.
To treasure the ability to do normal household tasks. Stirring things on the stove used to bring me to tears; it caused so much pain. Now I thank God every time I scramble frying beef because I can do it pain free. (Sometimes I even get a little silly and sing the Johnny Appleseed song.)
To be in total awe and respect of how God intricately made our bodies to heal and to be the vehicle our souls need to carry out the plans He has prepared for us in advance.
To count each breath and heartbeat as precious because we never know how many we're going to get.
To hold any measure of vitality as a blessing straight from God. It is only by his immeasurable Grace that any of us are here.
Listen friend, I have enough love for you that I'm going to call you out because the Holy Spirit has called me out.
Do you see the massive blessings in front of your face every single day? Or do you only see the hard parts?
If you are only staring at the hard parts you will never know how abundantly blessed you are by God.
I'm going to give you a pro tip so you can be happy/joyful in your tough circumstances:
Normalize struggle.
That's it. Seriously. I'm not saying it's not hard. I'm not saying it's not awful. But struggling is normal. Each of us just has different versions of it.
Quit thinking you’ll have a life without struggle or problems. They are an innate part of being human since the fall of man.
When you add thoughts like “this shouldn’t be happening!!!” to your circumstances, you won’t be able to find any level of God’s tremendous goodness in your life.
You’re Uniquely Equipped for the Life You Have
I've taken a hard look at the lives of some women I grew up with that are my age. I don't have contact with them anymore, I just see them on Facebook periodically. I look at their lives and I wouldn't trade my problems for theirs ever. I’ll stick with dealing with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, thanks!!
God has uniquely suited you to overcome or deal with the problems you have in your life. Not just for your sake but for His.
He has not equipped you or given you strength to fix a different set of circumstances. He has people He wants you to help because of what you'll learn through overcoming your circumstances.
He has a very specific type of comfort and understanding that He's given you because of your circumstances to give to others.
If you want to be happy and filled with joy, figure out what that is and then give that comfort and understanding away.
And take a ridiculous amount of joy out of the simplest most basic things in your life. From the breath in your lungs to the running water in your tap. All of it are gifts we did nothing to deserve.
We are dust. But somehow God loves us with a relentless love so deep He traded His Son so we had the chance to spend eternity with him. I pray I never get over the gravity of that.
Let's put it all together:
How To Find Joy in Hard Times:
1. Normalize struggle. because struggling has nothing to do with whether or not you have joy. Joy is a byproduct of celebrating God's goodness in your life.
2. Ask God to reveal to you what type of comfort and understanding He wants you to give to others.
3. Give that away as much as you can.
4. Extract a ridiculous amount of joy from the simplest things in your life.
5. Repeat every single day
Your Joy Can Become Someone Else’s Answered Prayer
Give away the comfort, wisdom, and understanding you’ve received.
Ask God:
“What kind of understanding have You given me through this experience—and who do You want me to give it to?”
Then go find them. Share it. Speak life. Show up.
There’s nothing more joyful than being used by God in someone else’s healing.
In passionate purpose,
Dorothy