Are You ACCIDENTALLY Making Things Harder Than They NEED To Be?
Do I have a funny story for you!
It absolutely astounds me what a person can still learn about their spouse even after living together for close to 3 decades!!
Travis and I had been married for 28 years when he dropped this bomb on me while eating the spaghetti and meat sauce I had prepared…
“You know, I actually prefer meat sauce to meatballs.”
I’m sorry, WHAT?!?!?!??!
You mean for the past 28 years, I did all the painstaking work of making meatballs from scratch instead of quickly frying the beef and dumping it into the Italian tomato sauce and also cleaning up all the extra dishes that went along with that?!?
Oh but it gets better…
He told me that in this particular dish, he prefers canned mushrooms to fresh because that's how his mom used to do it.
You mean I've been washing mushrooms, chopping mushrooms, frying mushrooms and cleaning up every dish from all those activities when I could have just cracked open a few cans?!?!?!?!?
Guys, I came to this knowledge by accident. One day I just ran out of time so I fried the beef because I didn't have time to make meatballs. I had forgotten to buy mushrooms so I just threw in some canned mushrooms I had in the cupboard.
Wow. Some of our greatest discoveries happen when we aren't trying.
I was doing all kinds of extra work from completely arbitrary rules I had made up in my head about what was “better.”
I do not blame my husband for any of this because I should have thought to ASK!!!! I mean after all, HE is the one eating it!!
Sometimes I wonder how often we do this with God.
We think he's expecting meatballs and fresh mushrooms when He actually prefers meat sauce and canned mushrooms.
We think He's expecting perfection and us being exhausted when the version He really wants is a lot faster, still tastes great and there's more time left over for fellowship.
We need a serious Martha versus Mary mindset shift.
(Luke 10: 38-42)
Just for a short recap:
Martha and Mary are sisters. Martha was running around like her hair was on fire while Mary was sitting at the feet of Jesus listening.
Martha loses it and basically tells Jesus, “Hey, don't you even care how lazy my sister is right now?!?!?! She isn’t helping me in the kitchen!!”
This is Jesus’ response in Luke 10:41-42:
“Martha, Martha,” the Lord replied, “you are worried and upset about many things.
But only one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, and it will not be taken away from her.”
That phrase "good portion" could be translated as “good assigned part.”
Here's the thing about Martha…
She wasn't doing bad things. She was doing good things. Hosting Jesus in her home, preparing a meal, making sure everything was taken care of. Noble stuff. Impressive stuff. Exhausting stuff.
Jesus didn't say "Martha, you're doing the wrong things."
He said "you are worried and upset about many things."
Many. Not wrong. Just…many. She was overwhelming herself.
And only ONE was necessary.
On the flip side of that, Mary wasn't being lazy. She was being obedient to what the moment actually called for.
She read the room. She understood that when Jesus of Nazareth is sitting in your living room, the most faithful thing you can do is sit at His feet.
That IS obedience. Just not the kind we typically think of.
Real obedience isn't doing everything that sounds God-honoring. It's doing what God actually asked. And those two things are not always the same list.
Isaiah 55:8 says "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways."
Sound familiar? Yeah. Turns out God and my husband have something in common. Neither of them wanted what I assumed they wanted. And I never thought to ask.
So here's your homework:
Take one area of your life where you are bone tired. Where you feel like you're running yourself ragged trying to do it right. And honestly ask God:
Did YOU ask me to do this? Or did I decide this on my own?
Am I doing the “good assigned part” or am I doing SELF assigned stuff that’s making me exhausted?
Where have I made up random rules that make life HARDER for myself that You never told me were important? (I just decided to MAKE them important)
Because when you start doing ONLY what God actually assigned you, something beautiful happens…
There's more time. More peace. More presence.
No meatballs. Less dishes. 💙
In passionate purpose,
Dorothy
Here’s a prayer to help you start discerning whether you’re making meatballs when you should be making meat sauce. 😉
Father,
I am tired. And I think part of the reason I am tired is because I have been doing things You never asked for.
I have been running around, doing good things, “right” things, exhausting things…and calling it faithfulness. But if I'm really honest, a lot of it was my idea. My standard. My version of what I thought You wanted from me.
Forgive me for assuming I knew.
Forgive me for being so busy serving You that I forgot to sit with You.
Today I want to do what Mary did. I want to choose the good assigned part. YOUR assigned part. Not the one I invented because it sounded spiritual or looked impressive or made me feel like I was doing enough.
Teach me the difference between what YOU have called me to and what I have called myself to. I am not on the throne YOU ARE. Show me what to put down. Show me what actually matters to You.
I want to know You the way You actually are, not the version I constructed in my own head.
So here I am. Less striving. Less assuming. Less dishes.
Just me, at Your feet, ready to listen.
In Jesus' name,
Amen.